What defines me.....

A question we all need to ask ourselves, if we want to live life with purpose and the Way God wants us to live it. I have been thinking about this for a while now, just how in the world we are defined by so many things.

First of all what we do as means of work, so your career, vocation or job. we have created jobs that are more prestigious than others, take for example Doctor sounds much better than home maker. we place so much emphasis on what we do for a living, please don't get me wrong, its very important because it involves to a greater extent some things that you enjoy doing and also source of income, but when it comes to it and that job goes and you have to stick with a less prestigious one how would you feel, just for a while. when you meet up with friends, family or past colleagues and they ask what do you do? what is your reaction?

Titles, I know that from where I come from it is such a big thing! One must be known as Doctor, Mrs, archbishop, reverend, chief, senior pastor yangayanga! we place so much values on them, sometimes use them to intimidate others, your title is not just for the sake of it, it serves a purpose, you were bestowed with it for a reason.

The Family I come from, are you proud of yourself knowing that your  family is well to do, rich, parents are hip and go with the trend, or are you happy with your family members be it whether they have different characters that may not even suit societies idea of how people ought to be in terms of being trendy, posh etc

what you earn, would it make any difference to who was your friend, who you hang out with depending on what you earn or not. Remember we are to condescend to men of low estate. Christ did that, did not esteem His riches and the position he had for anything, but laid it all down so that he might save us all. I know money is a big thing these days and usually the more you have of it the more you can buy and many people may feel the more happy you are but better is a house where bitter herbs are eaten and it is full of joy and happiness, than a house full of sweet bread where there is sorrow and anguish.

Your possessions, am I married or not, do I have children or not, have I got a house I own or not, do I have a house in the village or not, do I own a car or not, do I have a masters or not, a Phd or not, do I have the latest phone, weave( brazillian, peruvian , the list goes on lol ) . I just remembered what Paul wrote i have learned in whatsoever condition I am in to be content, I have learned to abound and to be abased basically to be rich and to be poor. Just remember this that God will supply all that you need according to his riches in glory, I am not saying that meaning you should  claim everything that comes your way but that the things that you truly desire and need God is ever ready to supply, that which will bring you joy and increase and also glorify His name.
The way I look, am I beautiful or ugly ( in your mind, because everyone is beautiful), I believe the world has actually defined what beauty is and when you discover that the way you look does not fall into that criteria , how do you feel? Thank God for it anyway, I know its easier said than done but loving yourself for who God made you to be is so important, being honest it takes a lot of stress from your life. Instead of struggling to be a skinny size 8 which might suit others, stay the size 12 that you are, you are still healthy and being curvy might suit you better. we are so obsessed with looks in the world, I know times when I have been to certain places say like a salon and I know I was well dressed but because of the image that the hairdressers in this particular salon had created about customers I was not treated as best as could.
what should define us as believers should be who we are in Christ. we are over-comers, head and not the tail. There are more weighty matters in life than certain things, understanding our priorities will really help us. The fact that I wear designer clothes, should that make anyone less important than I am. There is a value that God has placed on each and everyone's life, we should all appreciate one another for where they come from, the experiences they have gone through and not put everyone in the same bottle.

what actually defines us should be the way we live our lives and for whom we live our lives, our character, the way we think of others, the way we treat others, how we love and respect others. You find that when you don't have certain things your perspective of the world changes and you tend to value those things when you have them. That's why a season of trials is necessary so that the gold nature of God will be brought forth in us.Trying times come to allow us see who we really are, if we don't like what we see or what we see does not line up with his will about us then we cry out to God to change us. God wants the fruit of the spirit to be born or birthed in each and every believer, love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith and meekness. These are the things that should define me. I believe these are things we learn through life, not just at one good, so its not a one of lessons and we are sorted. the lesson keeps popping up until we have learnt but also to remind us when we have forgotten. Just bear in mind that I am in no way implying we should not look good, be irresponsible or untrue to ourselves but that the meaning of who we are be well understood then everything will be in God's perspective.

The Journey to Slim world... a destination or drive through

hmmm where do I begin, I would say this is one of the biggest struggles most people have, weight gain and coupled with the fact that the world has created the ideal man and ideal woman idea, its getting so hard just to be yourself. am still at loss of words where to start! well let me start with my own struggle with going up and down the scales.
i have been a size 14 or so most of my life and i have been very comfortable with that, i actually never really paid attention to it until i started wearing a size sixteen, i think that was when the alarm bells started ringing and it just went down hill after that. i have tried different diets, the G.I diet, the eat all you want but under a certain number of calories diet, the don't eat after 7 o'clock diet, and the i will start my diet tomorrow diet plan lol which is always bound to fail lol. We all need that ounce of determination, when there is a goal to be achieved but the main problem is the stumbling blocks that come along the way to hinder, like the chocolate bar hiding at the most convenient place when you are you weakest.  Will we rise up to the challenge or break under the heavy weight? I have found I keep failing to achieve my desire goal alone unless I have someone keeping a watchful eye over my diet plans.

 Now I am not giving excuses for being over-weight or piling on the pounds but serious the media has got their fair share of blame in all these. if we put out of our minds the perfect figure eight, model like girls we see in magazines and on tv ads and movies, then I think we might have more realistic goals. How about first of all trying to be healthy and eat right, sleep well and have a good amount of exercise. Drink a lot of water, fruit teas( the list is endless, I have a fond love for these), plenty fruit and vegetables and all the regular stuffs. I think the less we focus on I must look like this to be happy the better for us all as men and women.
Another concern is how much importance we put on what tastes good to our mouths and creates a  gymnasium of activities on our palate than what actually is good for our bodies. I kind of shudder a bit understanding some of the side effects to some of the methods of slimming. I see many people on so called low fat but high in sugar or fat free and full of sweeteners  Being honest I am a bit weary of the effects that sweeteners have on the body.

Another struggle with losing weight especially if you are from another culture other than western culture, it can be a bit hard trying to adapt your diet to suit all the dieting needs mentioned in whatever method you are using. Because most of the foods listed there you might not be used to them. I keep wondering why there aren't any African,Asian etc diet books unless I have not come by them yet. Maybe I should write one lol. I don't know if anyone finds that starting a diet can actually be quite expensive. I remember starting one particular diet and after I had gone to the supermarket and bought all I needed and started the diet, I was struggling to reuse the food because by the time day 8 came most of the stuff where out of date or getting bad. I just found it best to just pick out certain recipes and repeat them , it might be a bit boring but for a couple of days that should be al-right. 

Our natural build also matters, are you tall and small boned or big boned, short etc . Also instead of panicking when you put on weight, it helps realising that there is a range of weight you could be depending on your height that could be healthy for you.

Exercise is another thing that I really struggled with. Finding the right regime and also right exercise, I tried jogging a couple of times with friends, only discovered I only got light head and on one occasion of exercise had a nasty accident, I looked like I was in a fight! I eventually settled for power walking and jogging in between. Then someone on this diet I was on told me exercise does not actually help you lose weight! It is actually what you eat and exercise only helps you tone muscles and improves your fitness. Obviously I was kind of hooked on that but thinking of it that way as an escape route not to exercise doesn't really help. I am quite hopeful that I would get to a more healthy weight each day. I think that's the trick really, healthy choices every day eventually will count for an over all healthy life style.

20 Snacks That Help Burn Fat | Yahoo! Health

20 Snacks That Help Burn Fat | Yahoo! Health

My afro hair journey

Almost two years ago, I started the famous hair journey, that is wanting to go from permed hair to natural hair.I remember it was on my way from work, I went to my hair dresser and just told her to cut the hair off and I started using wigs just because I still love long hair and really believe a woman should have hair,also I hated the idea of me being seen with short hair. I used get really scared that someone could just play some silly joke on me and pull off my wig or the wonderful winds of Liverpool will just blow my wig off!
 I spent time buying and researching different products that will be really good for my hair. I first started with shea butter which is very moisturising. Then a close friend of mine told me of castor oil and the wonders it does to hair growth. so I started using it. it was amazing, the smell was not that bad. Because I always had this image in my head that castor oil tasted and smelled nasty! thanks to looney tunes lol. well I kept at it and also every 6 weeks I would treat my hair, washing with tea tree and mint products and then conditioning with this amazing l'oreal product called kerastase. It made my hair really soft and manageable.

Then my brother's fiancee mentioned to me about using tea to rinse my hair after I had finished all my treatments. So I googled it or should I say, searched for it online lol and discovered that black tea is really good for the hair, has something to do with the tannins in tea, makes the hair darker and also strong and prevents breakage. The blend of black tea I used has some summer fruits in it and had this lovely fruity smell to it , made my hair smell gorgeous!
So a couple of months went by, I got married and the hair kept growing and growing, looking more healthy. I kept putting it in weaves and braiding it to encourage it to grow.

 finally after it was about 5 inches or so, i got so excited and thought i should relax the hair, this was after much deliberation because my hair had really suffered in the past due to bad weather conditions,stress and lack of proper management. so i relaxed it and it grew still, i was really excited and then the winter came, it started getting dry and brittle. my hair strands started breaking because of the harsh weather conditions. Now i am back on the journey again. i hope to stick to it and not waver , until i get results but the trick is maintaining those results. i may have to go au naturel all the way. One thing that makes me keep wondering is why is the world so fascinated with straight hair and not curly or kinky hair. I just really hope that most African women will learn to embrace their wonderful and natural hair, the way God made it. No offence to you if you have long straight or curly hair, its beautiful and i really do admire it but we can't all look alike. I really admire the writer of half a yellow sun Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi, I read recently on Linda Ikeji, how she loves natural hair and intends to keep her hair in plaits or braids, I was really impressed.

Especially with the wave of Peruvian, Brazillian, Mongolian and Indian hair waves hitting the Nigerian community, it can be a bit hard looking different if you are not a determined and individual sort of person, who likes her own style and not copying every fashion that sweeps across the globe. Till date, I am still amazed at the fascination with such hair, especially the cost of it, I won't deny I have seen some lovely ones but I am such a fan of true originality. Being honest I wonder why as Nigerian women, we have not really managed to love and treat our own hair with such dignity and pride, rather we are peddler's of other women's wares. Well I hope to practice what I preach, just do what is comfortable with you and be yourself.

Food and the World

I get so fascinated with food. I love the colours,tastes, smells and places they come from. i recently went to this restaurant called Wahaca, I  absolutely loved the food, the ambience was nice, music not too loud, prices were really good, staff were very friendly and most importantly we all had a very good time. when i go to places like that it kind of makes me want to travel to the actual places these foods originated from, mexico in this case. sometimes i get scared that many traditional foods in the world are losing their genuineness( if there is any word like that lol ) especially when they are taken to western parts of the world. i want to eat Nigerian food made by proper Nigerians who understand the culture and know what each food means and how it ought to be represent . Please don't get me wrong I am not saying that the people who own these restaurants have no clue as to what they are doing but that the proper way things are done should be maintained. Each culture should be represented fully and truly, it makes for diversity, for enjoyment, for fun and for excitement! lol .Below is a picture of some fun interesting food I made with my Ghanian friend while at university, this was the height of desperation, it was all that was left so we just scrambled up this delectable kitchen delight lol. If you want to know the ingredients and how it was made, drop me a message and I will explain!

One thing that has kind of baffled me a bit, is how African food is not so popular all around the world. i keep waiting to see any Ghanian, Liberian, Congolese or Nigerian dish on any of the food network channel. well i guess the world is waiting for me lol but seriously it would be great to be able know that African dishes that is core African dishes are well known, now am not talking about Moroccan or Ethiopian, they have made there mark. Now would you not love to eat something like this in any well known restaurant.Pounded yam and Egusi soup. i know i would! Take for example the Ghanian kenkey and fish, so delicious kenkey and fish. I am sure there are so many wonderful and delicious dishes out there, yet to be enjoyed in the culinary world. well just a thought that crossed my mind. more to come....pm

Me

here goes my first blog, I hope it will be worth the read. I used to do a lot of writing(https://www.facebook.com/pauline.habila/notes) in past just on things i felt really passionately about  . my husband is my greatest encourager with all the things i love doing.
I love food, seeing new places and a bit of fashion- I love good clothes and shoes , who doesn't?  so i am kinda letting myself enjoy my hobbies, reading good stories, watching good movies, dancing every now and again and music, I really love singing.
forgot to say i love writing too,i kinda pick it up and stop, hopefully i will try to be more consistent. i have been really intrigued how writing has gone to a different level, even the face of journalism has changed, sort of thinking of the likes of Linda Ikeji.
Thinking of fashion, i think this lady's work is worth checking out https://www.facebook.com/babeforlife.patchedankara. i absolutely love her style, for me its fresh and vibrant. I love seeing decent and good clothes.
Check out this guy called Jonathan McReynolds, here is a link to a song he wrote- No shades of grey-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp9nsloB-JU. He just kind of explains how we must be on the Lord's side or the devil's side.we can't be in-between, there is no de-militarised zone.
i hope what i have written is not here, there and everywhere. anyway watch this space.....